Thursday, July 3, 2014

7 Reasons to Turn Down a Marriage Proposal

Because not every man who gets on one knee and pops open a velvet box gets what he wants. Here are some reasons why.

1. You don't love him.
I am a firm believer of marrying for love. And, while a marriage of convenience may be tempting, I've written, read and watched enough love stories to want it for myself. Besides, if you're going to be shackled to someone, it might as well be to someone you won't try to kill because of something trivial like snoring too loudly, or putting too much syrup in his pancakes, or watching too much football, or waking up too early, or laughing too heartily. Useless stuff like those. The point is,no matter how trivial these things are, if you spend a long enough period of time tolerating them, you'll find your annoyance grow into irritation and develop further into hatred.

2. He doesn't love you.
There are lots of reasons why men propose. He may do it because he loves you. Or maybe because he knocked you up. Or because you're rich. Or your parents are rich. Or his visa expired and he's about to get deported. If he's popping the question for reasons other than being completely and hopelessly in love with you, why say yes?

3. Timing.
Marriage isn't something you simply do with the right person. You have to do it with at the right time. Career. Family. Opportunities. There are a lot of things that could crowd up in your life that just makes it hard to start this serious a commitment. If you feel like there's too much happening at that moment in your life and you can't possibly add one more thing, then postpone. Being with the right person at the time is as devastating as being with the wrong person at the right time.

4. You're a bum.
Neither one of you has a job. You don't have your own house. You have no source of income. You're only hope is the kindness of your parents and the depth of their pockets. You'd have to be astronomically stupid to say yes.

5. You don't like the ring.
A bit superficial? Maybe. But still. Why would you agree to marry someone who doesn't even know you enough to know the type of ring you'd want to have around your finger for the rest of your life? This isn't about him getting you the most expensive ring on display. This is about him knowing and understanding who you are.

6. You're being pressured.
It's perfect. The candles. The flowers. The ring. The man. But, there's the crowd. And, in the moment following his question, all you hear is the fast beating of your heart and the drawn breath of the hundreds of people around you. You feel pressured. You need to say yes. But you shouldn't. I've always hated people who use a crowd to get you to do what they want. So, resist. Besides, if it was meant to be, you wouldn't have noticed other people. You should have had been drawn to him and nothing and no one else.

7. You're just the practice dummy.
He's the love of you life. He's kneeling before you. He has a ring in his hand. And, he just uttered the four magical words. But, he's not really asking you. Of course, not. Because you're not the girlfriend, just the best friend. And, he's just practicing on you. It's just role play. Don't get carried away. You'll only hurt yourself.

*A product of prompt # 296 of


  1. aww. why sad posts lately? :) cheer up!

    1. Haha. Sir, I can't help it. This long vacation isn't doing me any good.